When you were a teenage girl (if you ever were a teenage girl), did it ever seem to you that the boys your age weren't quite on the same page as you when it came to dating and relationships and all? Well, I just sent my teenage son out the door for his homecoming date, and I can tell you: Not on the same page at all.

He managed to pick up on the not-at-all subtle hints from the girl who wanted him to ask her to homecoming. He put together a clever way of asking her. But that was the end of his competence. He came home from school yesterday totally unclear on the details of the group date he was involved in. "Riley and her mom are, like, totally into this," he told me confusedly. Something about flowers and matching colors. It was all above him.

After bowling, before dinner, with corsage, practicing his suave moves.

This morning he went to theater rehearsal. As the afternoon wore on, we received increasingly frequent and frantic phone calls from his friends. Apparently Roscoe was late for bowling, the first phase of this all-day date. Finally he came home, made a call to the florist regarding a corsage, ate a sandwich, and headed to meet everyone at the bowling alley.

As he was about to head out the door, he stopped and said, "I think I'll go put on some deodorant."

And that, ladies, was the extent of his preparations. While you have been carefully planning your outfit, hair, and accessories, it barely occurs to the boys to put on an extra layer of Axe.